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I THOUGHT I KNEW IT ALL

 
 You don’t have to read all this or anything – but if there’s anything you want to know it’s worth having a quick look here before you get in touch with me. If the answer isn’t one you like then it saves either of us wasting our time, and you can find a lady who meets your needs better.
My FAQ is split into five sections – Services, Rates, Clients, The Law, and Escorting
 

Services

Q: On what grounds will you refuse services?

A: Once you’re through my door you have to behave pretty badly for me to refuse service. Check out my rules page – if you think you can stick to that then you’ll do fine. Only other reason I’d have to end the session would be if I became ill or there was some other emergency, and then of course you’d get a refund!

Q: How do I get to see you for longer than an hour?

A: We have to have met at least once before, and have genuine awesome chemistry. I’m a shitty actress, if I don’t get on with you then I’ll start to get bored and grouchy in a long booking so trust me, this rule is for the best.

Q: Are you STI screened?

A: Yes – I opt for the most thorough screening available and am tested once every 3 months as is recommended for sex workers. Obviously I am in an ‘at risk’ group so can’t guarantee infection free, but I will never knowingly work with an STI and as I use condoms with all partners both personal and professional. My last all clear test result was October 2011. You are still recommended to have regular tests yourself if you are visiting escorts.

Q: Are you interested to try something new?

A: There’s a pretty good chance not – I’ve been working as an escort since January 2010 so in that time I’ve had plenty of weird and wonderful requests. If it’s on my ‘turn offs’ list then definitely not, and I’ll probably be quite annoyed if you ask, but if it’s not something I mention then feel free to ask, maybe I’ll be feeling brave!

Q: Will you see couples?

A: Yes – please see services page for details. I do have safety requirements and there is an extra charge.

 
 
 
 
 
 Rates

Q: How do I pay?

A: I accept pounds sterling cash only – no cheques, cards, vouchers, barter or foreign money. Scottish notes are welcome, as are £50 notes and £1/£2 coins – but keep your loose change. I don’t keep cash in the house so I can’t offer change, if you bring large notes to pay for small appointments then you’re giving me a tip!

Q: What extra charges are there?

A: Outcalls cost £20 more than an incall of the same length – this is a one off charge for each appointment. To meet with a couple (this includes two straight men) I charge an extra £20 on half hour appointments, extra £30 for one hour appointments, and extra £10 per hour for additional hours after the first.

Clients

Q: Will you see overweight, non-white, female, LGBT and disabled clients?

A: Yes, definitely! If you have a serious mobility problem then there may be issues with access on incalls, please contact me to discuss and I’ll try to find a solution that works for you.

Q: What about foreign clients?

A: You must have fluent English speaking skills, but as long as we can understand each other well enough then yes, I’m happy to see you.

Q: You didn’t mention religious clients!

A: This is Heavy-Metal-Escort.com, what do you think? And no, Stryper don’t count.

In all seriousness, I don’t actually mind religious clients. But I’m an atheist, the angry kind, so probably best not to bring it up!

Q: You forgot to mention my minority!

A: I’ll see you too :)

The Law

Q: Are you a prostitute?

A: Yep. Using that word is generally not great for advertising though – no one googles for it, and lots of clients and escorts really don’t like it. I do though – whore’s good as well!

Q: Don’t you know that you’re breaking the law with the service you’re giving?

A: Nope – I Got The Right to do what I’m doing! You (and Iron Maiden) need to do your research! Prostitution has never been illegal in the UK. Lots of stuff associated with it is though, like working on the street or running an agency – but it’s possible to work totally legally and that’s what I do. I even pay tax.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Escorting

Q: I want to become an escort – how do I get started?

A: I’m happy to answer any questions from new escorts, but you’d be better having a good look at www.saafe.info – articles written by lots of different types of escorts who work in many different ways, and forums full of experienced escorts to advise you. I’ll save you some time though – if you want to do social escorting (no sex, just dinners and things) or straight male escorting, don’t give up the day job!